


California Girls

by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl



Series: Tales Through the Looking Glass [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU of an AU, Gen, Shopping, Time Travel, girl time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 04:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17594300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxEtoile/pseuds/NyxEtoile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlivesAwl/pseuds/OlivesAwl
Summary: "Guys," Darcy said. "I hate to be that bitch--but we are literally live-action failing the Bechdel Test right now. We've all. . .lost things. Friends, family, relationships, pets, career advancement,yearsof research. Body parts, apparently. And we're in the past. Like. . . how arewe?"---The ladies go shopping.





	California Girls

**Author's Note:**

> Look! It's a Wives Club! Drinking, shopping, talking about sex.
> 
> Set between Chapters 7 and 8 of _Now the Time is Here_. Title is from the Beach Boys song. I'm way worse at tagging than Nyx, but this doesn't have much of an "I found this in random search appeal" so I ain't worrying about it.
> 
> First couple story should start sometime in the next week.

"I'm giving you all leave," Fury said on his way out. "Recover from the fight and let things settle down. I've got some conversations I need to have." About Clint, probably. Nat tried not to get her dander up too much. They'd survived that the first time. "Four weeks. Then I want you and Barton and Carter and whomever else back at work."

"Sir, yes sir," she said.

He and Hill and Coulson went back to their jet, and Nat turned and went back into the house. She relayed the instructions from Fury.

"That's good," Steve said. "Give us time to get organized. Get things in place."

"Go shopping," Sharon added hopefully.

"Oh," Jane said. "Yes. I have been wearing the same bra for three days."

"Our Sugar Mama went to put her baby down," Darcy said. "When she gets back, I, too, would like to make arrangements for a bra. And a bathing suit. Have any of you seen that pool?"

It amused Nat how quickly Darcy shifted gears.

"I brought luggage," Violet said. "But only a long weekend's worth."

"None of us have more than what we were wearing and what the hotel brought us," Amanda added. "And I could really use a yarn store."

Across the room, Steve said, "I'm going to go down to the gym."

Sharon turned to look at him. "What's wrong, honey, you don't want to hear about bras and yarn?"

"It would ruin the mystery." He leaned over to kiss her. "Have fun."

"You too." Sharon watched him walk off and Nat caught a hint of concern in her eyes. She suspected the girl's needed some time together for more than just shopping. Girl's Days were usually good for some talk therapy.

When Pepper didn't come back out, Amanda asked JARVIS where she was, and learned she and and Tony were napping. Even if she hadn't been, well, the money, if both owners of the house and it's vehicles were asleep, they were probably kind of stuck there. The women all decided to take an inventory of what they and their significant others had and needed. Order was needed for a shopping trip of this magnitude.

It took a while.

"Do you have any requests," she asked Clint as she was making her list.

"For me or for you?"

She arched a brow at him. "Dealer's choice."

"Red lace," he said after a moment's consideration. "Running shoes and socks. And some peanut butter M&Ms."

"I shall see it done."

"You're a goddess."

She kissed him. "And maybe some surprises."

"Excuse me," JARVIS said. "You wanted me to inform you when Ms Potts was up?"

"Yes," Nat replied. "Is she?"

"She is. I have not told her you were looking for her as Mr. Stark is still asleep, but she is dressing."

"Thank you, JARVIS." She kissed Clint again. "I'm going to go stand outside her door like a creeper. I'll see you later."

"Enjoy your girly time," he called.

Pepper was coming down the hall when Nat got there. "JARVIS said you were looking for me?"

"Yes, the ladies would like to go shopping. And you have the money and car keys."

She grinned. "That sounds like a fantastic idea."

Oh thank goodness. "I'll gather the troops."

"Are we taking the children?" Pepper asked. "I'd hate to wake Ruby. Or Tony."

Violet came out of the kitchen in time to hear some of that. "Bruce offered to keep my two. I think between the rest of them could handle Ruby, too."

"Sounds good to me," Pepper said. "Though I think this is going to be an undertaking, you may want to bring Neil. My boobs didn't last more than two or three hours when Ruby was that small. I spent a charity ball wearing Tony's tux jacket half the night because I leaked all over my dress." 

She sighed a little. "I know, you're probably right. I was blinded by the promise of a kid free afternoon." 

Pepper tilted her head, and then fished out her phone. "Give me fifteen minutes." She turned and went back down the hall. 

Violet and Nat watched her, then looked at each other in confusion. "Wet nurse?" Nat finally suggested.

"If it lets me shop without Neil strapped to my chest I don't really care."

Nat got the rest of the women gathered by the time Pepper got back. "Okay. I've got a room at the Beverly Wiltshire and Jess is having a pump and accoutrements and a mini fridge delivered. You can run over whenever the danger zone hits."

"I love you so much," Violet told her with utter sincerity.

Pepper grinned. "My baby is sleeping. I'll buy you the whole damn hotel if you want."

"I'll settle for a couple of those fancy nursing bras you had."

"Let's roll," Darcy said. "I have everyone's lists and am working on a plan of attack."

An SUV was idling outside, driven by Hogan, who looked baffled at all the women who came out of the house to climb inside it. Particularly Nat. "Natalie?"

She patted his arm on the way back. "Call me Nat."

"Why are you. . .?"

"I promise I'll explain it later," Pepper called, climbing into the front seat. "For now we have schedule to keep."

That was the end of the questions, but once they got on the road, he kept glancing at her in the rearview window. "Are you still a ninja?"

"I prefer Russian assassin, but sure." Next to her, Amanda snorted.

"She was at the battle with us," Pepper said by way of explanation. "We brought everyone who helped us home for some R&R."

Hogan nodded, though he still looked a little confused. He stopped looking at her with concern, at least.

Darcy was plotting their course on a tablet. It was remarkably big and clunky. What a difference five years made. "So our first stop, it turns out, will be yarn."

Amanda made a happy noise. "Anyone who wants new socks should put in their requests now."

"Are you just going to be a sock factory for a while?" Sharon asked. "Not a complaint."

"Socks and baby blankets, I assume."

"An Auntie Manda blanket would probably make Ruby very happy," Pepper said. "Hers didn't come back with us."

"I'll have to look up some patterns for blankets, find one similar to the one she had. Socks I can do in my sleep."

Nat listened to them talk about their knitting requests on the drive, but it wasn't until they had gotten out in front of the little shop that Nat walked next to her. "Hey. I was thinking of getting something for Clint."

"To practice knitting? He picked it up pretty quickly on the plane." On their flight out to rescue Bucky, Clint had apparently asked Amanda to teach him to knit. Somehow that man still managed to surprise her.

"He's mentioned it twice." She shrugged. "I think he'd like having something to do with his hands. Something distracting."

"It's not always as distracting as you might think. But he is just starting, so it might help." She pulled the door open. "We can cobble together a starter kit."

"He likes black," Nat said.

"Black can be very hard to knit with, starting out. You can't see well."

"He has great eyesight."

Amanda pursed her lips. "Maybe we can find something variegated."

Nat smiled. "Thank you," she said, really meaning it. She had no idea how Clint would react to this, but it was worth a try. Particularly if she also bought some lingerie. Maybe she could give it to him while wearing said lingerie.

Amanda gave them guidelines for finding sock yarn, then helped Nat pick out some needles, yarn and book of patterns to get Clint started, as well as a few sets of needles for herself. Pepper paid for the whole lot of it and Nat found herself honestly shocked at how much yarn could cost. 

"You can buy cheap yarn," Amanda said when they got back in the car. "But no one in this crowd is going to want to put that on their feet."

"Are you calling us snobs?" Violet asked. "Because that's okay."

"I think I made you snobs." She wiggled her fingers. "These hands don't touch acrylic."

"I'm about to buy you people $500 bras and $1000 shoes," Pepper said. "We're snobs."

"And, like, some real clothes too, right?" Violet asked.

"Of course. That's just basic decency." She turned in her seat. "There's a Barney's on Wiltshire that will probably be able to cover most of the stuff on your lists. Then we can wander up Rodeo for strays and specifics. And La Perla."

Nat was rather amused at the idea of trying to dress Clint in designer clothes, since this was a man who fancied well-worn t-shirts and jeans, but she was up to the challenge.

She found herself with Darcy on most of her hunt, since Cal was also not much of a fashion forward guy. There seemed to be a couple designers who favored the "dark colors, lots of layers, distressed jeans" look and they spent most of their time there. Finding clothes for herself was much easier.

Someone had the idea to go up to the travel section and buy suitcases—they'd need them anyway—and would then be able to fill them, and get them home without a sea of bags. It was the kind of weird thing that a high end department store absolutely would not put up with, except at the behest of a woman like Pepper Potts and her Amex black. Nat didn't even want to know what it all cost.

Mid afternoon, they sent Hogan back to Malibu with an SUV full of suitcases, and the women traipsed to the hotel so Violet could pump. It was a large suite, as it turned out, and they arrived to a spread of wine and heavy appetizers.

"Is it weird this is the most normal I've felt this whole time?" Sharon said, making herself a plate.

"And that's why I did it," Pepper said. "I was concerned the shopping might get a little Death March."

Darcy was pouring wine glasses. "We made some good progress."

"All I need is bras and a bathing suit," Jane said. "Where are we going for bathing suits?" Pepper had told them not to buy any at Barney's.

"Ah, we're not. Bathing suits are coming to us."

They all turned to look at her. "How does that work?"

"Tony has a service that brings him clothes--he does not shop. They bring a selection, he takes what he likes, they take the rest back. While you all were shopping, since I don't have much to buy, I made arrangements for them to bring a selection of styles, in a selection of sizes--bathing suits being a small-medium-large kind of affair." She waved her hand at the table. "Trying on bathing suits is terrible and will be much better with booze and privacy."

"Thank you, Sugar Mama," Darcy sing-songed.

Pepper smiled. "I thought it would do us good."

Sharon lifted a glass. "Amen to that."

Violet set herself up in a chair and started pumping. The rest of them made plates and brought her food, getting comfortable. It felt very much like a normal Wives Club. "So," Violet started, "How is everybody holding up?"

No one answered immediately, so Nat decided to jump in. "I'm worried about Clint."

"He and James were up all night last night," Amanda said.

She sighed. "I was afraid of that. He snuck in and out while I was sleeping."

"I was encouraged they were at least together," Amanda replied. "That can be hard for men."

"They do have quite a bit of a bond," Nat said. "I hope they're helping each other."

"Neither of them is much of a talker," Sharon commented. "But maybe just having company is enough."

"Like a support group."

Nat swirled her wine. "Last time he kind of got lost in his head and ended up going on a walkabout in Australia. I really. . . don't want to go through that again."

"You don't think having been through it once will help?" Darcy asked.

"I hope so. But the nightmares have come back, and it's been a long time since he had those."

"Ruby has been keeping us up," Pepper said. "But I assume Tony's will return eventually."

"Steve seems really out of sorts, too," Sharon said. "Not nightmares. But I think the time travel and starting over with Hydra is really throwing him and he's not talking about it."

"Thor has been worrying about the convergence and the Tesseract," Jane said. "Apparently his 'discussion' with his father got pretty loud."

"Guys," Darcy said. "I hate to be that bitch--but we are literally live-action failing the Bechdel Test right now. We've all. . .lost things. Friends, family, relationships, pets, career advancement, _years_ of research. Body parts, apparently. And we're in the past. Like. . . how are _we_?"

There was a moment of silence. "I'm worried about explaining all of this to my family," Violet said. "From their point of view, Hal died two months ago and now I'm going to be abruptly moving the kids to a different state. They're going to think I've snapped."

"You impulsively took a nannying job with a billionaire who doesn't have children," Pepper said. She blew out a breath. "I'm going to have to adopt my own daughter."

"All my research is gone," Amanda said. Just that, but they all knew the implications of that.

Jane bumped her shoulder. "Mine, too."

"My Dad has no idea who I am," Darcy said. "And it will not actually be legal for me to drink this wine for another month. People already didn't take me seriously before."

"Same," Sharon said. "About the taking seriously, anyway. Plus Peggy is still alive and I'm also going to have to explain Steve to my family again."

There was a knock on the door, and Pepper said, "And now that we're all depressed, there are the bathing suits."

"Well, nothing cheers me up like trying on bathing suits," Amanda drawled.

"Drink more," Pepper said, getting up to get the door.

The bathing suit shopping was pretty painless, at least from Nat's point of view. Some of them had more body issues than she did, but with the rest of them being rather loud with their support, even Amanda ended up with something a little racy.

Lots of wine helped, too. Dessert was ordered from room service, so they could crank the room heat up and eat chocolate cake in bathing suits, because why the hell not? They goaded Pepper into trying one even though she didn't need to buy one, because it was only fair.

"I think in this particular case, it helps a little we're all in bodies that are five years younger," Pepper said. "I mean, I'm sad about the boob situation, but I also have a flat stomach and no stretch marks."

"My stomach was flatter in 2017," Violet said dryly.

"But your tits are better," Darcy said. "I think most of the tits are better, in this room. Actually, visually, all of them, kinda. I mean. Your fake ones are probably better shaped than the real ones."

"Yeah, but if I move the wrong way, you can see the scars." 

"Own your scars," Amanda told her. "You don't have to be proud of of them or go all girl power. But they're proof you survived something."

Nat had chosen bottoms that covered her gunshot scars, like she usually did—skimpy things she wore for Clint aside. But it was a good piece of advice, coming from a woman who had no other option but to show her reminder of the worst day of her life to the world.

Pepper turned to look in the mirror. "I suppose you're right. Of course you're right." She paused. "So is Darcy."

"Of _course_ I am," Darcy said loudly. "I might be a little drunk. And what the hell did you do to your back?"

Pepper did have a bruise on her back, though clearly hadn't noticed because she frowned and turned to look in the mirror. Then her face flushed. "Oh, Jesus."

"Goodness," Sharon said. "What a suspiciously round bruise you have."

Amanda seemed to be holding back laughter. "Whatever could have made it?"

"I'm drunk, so I'm slow," Darcy said. "Young me has no tolerance. Sorry. I wasn't gonna comment on sex injuries. Doc has a full handprint on her thigh, and I didn't say nothin'."

Jane sighed and reached over to gently take Darcy's glass away.

Amanda, for her part, shrugged. "Sex is a good stress reliever."

"Oh, hey, here," Sharon said, shifting in her chair and moving her suit bottom to show a small bruise on her hip. "That was Steve."

The rest of them gave her a little round of applause.

"I'm glad everyone had good sex," Darcy said. "I had awesome sex."

"Many of us know," Jane said. "We could hear you."

Darcy's cheeks pinked, but her tone was blasé. "Whatever, I'm living my best life."

Jane seemed really entertained she'd made Darcy blush. All these Wives Club parties and Nat didn't think she'd ever encountered something that made Darcy blush. There was some banter, something about Jane having beard burn in a location she did not wish to discuss. She saw Pepper reach over and pat Violet on the arm.

"Oh, don't pity me. Having someone to take the second shift with Neil is better than some sex I've had."

"If you are in the mood for both, I'll take a Neil shift," Pepper said. "I literally owe you."

Violet pointed at her. "We'll talk."

"And I'm going to put better soundproofing on the list for the DC house," Pepper said. "I've had enough wine I don't remember who it was, but doesn't one of you have like a padded sex room?"

Sharon lifted a hand. "That's more for injuries than noise."

"No, no, I'm not trying to kink shame. I want to make sure everyone's needs are met. We're drunk in bathing suits in a high class hotel. If ever there was a time for honesty about this, it's now. What do people need?"

"Sturdy wood furniture," Amanda said. "For various reasons."

"That is already on the list," Darcy said. "Same with the bathroom fixtures. Jane."

"I think my reputation in that department has become exaggerated." 

"But funny."

"I would also like sturdy furniture," Nat found herself saying.

"And with no super strength involved, good for _you_ ," Darcy said.

She lifted a shoulder. "We get inventive." Especially when Clint needed a way to get out of his own head.

Pepper got up to fish her phone out of her purse to make notes. "I'm just going to get everyone sturdy furniture and call it a day." She looked back at Nat. "And you need a headboard you can attach things too, I recall." They all knew a lot about each other's sex lives.

"Yes, please. I can give you some websites that sell them."

"I wasn't going to mention it," Jane said, "Because it's not our thing, not my business, and I didn't want to think about it too long. . . but if you press the wrong wall button in the room we're staying in, restraints emerge from all four corners of the bed."

Pepper put a hand to her face. "Oh, you're in that room."

They all turned to look at her. "Explain," Darcy demanded.

She sighed. "It predates me. He never let any of his random women in his actual bed, so he had a room just for, well, sex. I meant to make sure no one was put in there." She winced. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Jane said. "It was worth explaining it to Thor for the look on his face."

"He's 1500 years old and you had to explain that to him?" Sharon asked.

"I don't know that Asgardians are particularly kinky."

"I think it's just Thor," Darcy said. "His brother sure had a 'I'm into the freaky shit' vibe."

"And also, mass murder," Amanda said. 

"I'm not saying one excuses the other."

"Okay," Pepper said. "Anybody else for a fancy headboard?"

They spent a good half hour discussing furniture and sobering up a bit before deciding it was probably time to get dressed and finish shopping.

It was lingerie, of course, so the conversation was still a bit of nudity and related conversation.

"Ten bucks says Darcy or Cal sprain something," Sharon said. She, Nat, and Amanda were in the same area, looking at what Nat could only describe as grown-up sexy bras. Things that crossed the line between form and function.

"They're young and flexible," Amanda said.

"I'm just saying, they were adventurous when he had chronic back problems. Without them, someone's hanging off a chandelier."

"Maybe someone should move them to the sex room," Nat commented.

"I thought ties were more your thing," Amanda said.

"Not in somebody else's sex room."

"Fair enough."

Sharon tilted her head at Amanda. "Do you do anything kinky other than sleeping with a super soldier?"

She seemed to consider this. "Not really. Maybe I should explore that."

"You've come a long way from being embarrassed by bondage conversations," Nat said.

"Life continues to get weirder. I adapt."

"I still say what you need is a vibrator in that arm of his," Sharon said.

Amanda opened her mouth, then tilted her head. "I'm not opposed to that. But I feel like Tony would never let me hear the end of it."

"Surely you have plenty of retaliatory material."

Pepper came over. "Are you guys talking about the arm vibe again?"

"Yes," Amanda confirmed. "I think Tony would do it and make my life miserable."

"Nah," she said. "You're in the sibling category, he won't want to keep bringing up your sex life." She paused. "But he is really good at making them."

Nat arched a brow. "Does he make you custom ones?"

Pepper chuckled. "Of course he does. Many. The funniest part is often the tech either comes from or ends up in equipment and gear."

She found herself wondering if it was possible to get one without letting Stark dip way too far into her sex life.

"I know at least two fancy arrowheads that came about that way," Pepper was saying. 

"From vibrators?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, he was on this miniaturization kick for a while. Didn't work for it's intended purpose. Like, didn't work as in I almost had to call you." She pointed at Amanda. "But apparently there were arrowheads afterwards."

"I feel like I should tell Clint that, but also that if I did he'd start bringing arrows to the bedroom."

"Is that a bad thing?" Sharon asked.

"Could go either way."

"It's okay," Pepper said with a smile. "I don't think any of that stuff has been invented yet."

That was a good point. "If he'd like to make me a present, I wouldn't say no."

"I'll see what I can do." She inclined her head. "We should probably wrap it up soon, we still need to pick up dinner."

Nat held up her selections. "I'm ready."

They drove home packed in the SUV with their lingerie boxes, and then bags of burgers and fries from some roadside shack that had apparently burned down in 2014 and Pepper was utterly delighted to see. She made Hogan do some crazy u-turn when she saw it.

Pockets of conversation were about shoes and surfing and soundproofing Darcy's room. Nat listened to them, thinking about where she'd been on her first trip through 2012. Carrying the weight of everything that had happened—and everything that had happened to Clint—all on her own.

There was something very nice about having support. People to talk to about her worries. People to help keep an eye on Clint. The last five years had been hard and sometimes scary. But all of them had come out stronger, with binds that couldn't be easily broken.


End file.
